18. Gratitude for happiness

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

 - Groucho Marx

Whatever brings you happiness, whether it be a big slab of white chocolate, a walk on the beach or simply holding your partner’s hand,  very little else compares with those really happy moments, We remember them, hold on to them and most often smile when we think of them. I don’t think I would be rocking any boats with the statement that happy people are generally healthier people.

For most people, both success and happiness, or the combination is elusive. It is possible to have both and like many things in life, it requires a paradigm mind shift and a real desire to maintain it. The following tips are a guideline and then it’s all up to you.

Success comes from 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. In plainer words, less than 100% commitment won’t see your dreams and goals being achieved the way you want them to. Work at it every day, give it 100% every day even if you only have small pockets of time. Which person would you want on your project, the one who gives 100% with little time or 50% effort over longer periods of time? So be that for yourself. Any gold medal athlete will tell you, if you want to go to the Olympics you need to work at it every day; it’s the same with other goals and dreams. Hold your commitment even though there might be some nay-sayers around, hold onto that dream.

“Flubberise” yourself. When things are not going right, and they never run smoothly all the time, or you get knocked down, stand up, dust yourself off and keep at it. Find your “Flubber” point and make it stronger by bouncing back every time. Allow only 15 minutes for negativity, then shift the stick up a notch and get on with the job of flying. 

To paraphrase Winston Churchill - never give up! Keep on keeping on, and then some - no matter what. Some successful people take years to experience success and the key with most of them is that they never gave up. Success could be around the corner and if you give up, you will never know what you could have achieved.

Laugh a lot. Laughter definitely is the best medicine. Whatever is ‘going down’ in your life, do everything possible to send it “up” side with laughter. You will find it impossible to stay in a bad mood if you’re laughing – you don’t believe me? Click here (warning: you might be in a good mood all day when you remember it!) Laughter also gets your endorphins (feel good hormones) going, is the doorway to your creativity and keeps you happy and healthy. Every moment is a choice.

Start now. You don’t need any special tools or knowledge. If you’re not happy about what you’re doing there are always two choices: learn to love it or find something else that you do love to do. Just stop driving yourself and everyone in your life around the bend complaining about what you don’t like. Love what you do. See? It’s not rocket science, you know this stuff.

Look for solutions not problems. This one is all about perspective. Starting with the problem, you can only approach it from a negative place. Try focussing on a solution first, come at it from the “other” side first and immediately its exciting, its positive, its possible! Flying from high up, you can spot great ideas and people love being around possibility thinkers instead of a”whining willy”.

Build relationships. Not the internet kind. The kind where you get off your butt and make an effort. Have a coffee with a friend, or meet someone new by joining the social club down the road. People want to interact, it’s not enough to just say “hello” and move on – it’s superficial and as they say in diet circles “filled with empty calories” and doesn'tt nourish you. So join a group or start one and create a network of support with like-minded people around you.

Take care of those three important areas: health, relationships and work – in equal amounts of attention, some call it balance! If you need support with this – get it, its important. A lot of attention is given to physical fitness and very little to brain fitness. So go ahead and give your brain a workout as well as your body. PS: don’t forget your soul and find a big dose of inspiration each day as well.

Show compassion. Pay it Forward. Random acts of kindness. Invisible acts of Power.  Whatever you call them, look for things that you can do for someone else every day. It doesn’t have to be HUGE, and usually it’s the little things that mean the most. While you are doing this, get in touch with how you feel and let that fuel you… soon you will see it means more to your wellbeing to be this compassionate, kind person and you are opening yourself up to new experiences and meeting new people. “Strangers are friends you’re yet to meet.” – Unknown.  Always be willing to give someone else a hand up; there is enough to go around. Funny thing, you will notice you can’t give a hand up from a down position!

IMPORTANT! Find what your passion is and grow it. Someone once said to me that if I work with my passion before long I won’t think of it as work. It’s true! If you aren’t passionate about what you’re doing, it gets hard to keep doing it and the commitment gets thinner and thinner until one day you don’t want to get out of bed. So, go look for what your passion is, try on lots of different things for size until you find it. Time is not an issue here, just keep on doing different things, ask your friends – usually they know about your talents and passions that you just take for granted. Volunteer your time, do different kinds of work in your spare time, hang out with different people or go back to your childhood dreams. It’s worth the effort, your life can only be richer for living with your passion.

Get your groove back.  Do new things. Get outta that rut! Put together your bucket list and live it now, don’t wait! Live now and get out of that groove, get happy because living feels good. Do a thought check: take stock on those old, limiting beliefs that are holding you back and toss them out. Doing new things opens your mind up to possibilities and moves out of your own way by changing your current way of thinking. You afraid of having fun? Being happy? So then….

Parting shot… Well there you are, a good starting point. Now its up to you. Go to the library, beg and borrow inspiring material – better yet start an inspirational club! Find ways to inspire yourself every day. Lastly, remember to keep journalling and write about the progress you are making.

Passion and balance = h a p p i n e s s!

In Gratitude
Mish